Panel’s Engagements
Sue’s Journey to Independence and Safety
Sue (not her real name), a woman in her late 30s, moved to the UK with her husband and their young daughter. She was referred to Wai Yin services by Trafford Children’s Social Services following a disclosure that her daughter had been sexually assaulted by her father. As a result, social services intervened to safeguard the child, and Sue was
provided with additional support to help her navigate the complex and distressing situation.
Background and Challenges
During the intervention, Sue confided in the social worker that she had been enduring physical, financial, and verbal abuse from her husband for years. She had no financial independence, as her husband controlled all household income and expenses. He would insult and humiliate her, calling her “rubbish” and laughing whenever she attempted to speak English. This continuous emotional abuse significantly impacted upon her self esteem and confidence, making her feel powerless and isolated.
Sue had very little knowledge of English, which made it extremely difficult for her to seek help, understand her rights, and to access available resources. She was also deeply concerned about her immigration status, fearing that if she left her husband, she might be forced to leave the UK. These concerns, combined with her lack of financial independence, kept her trapped in an abusive relationship for a prolonged period of time.
Although Sue wanted to work to support herself and her daughter, the language barriers she faced, along with childcare responsibilities, made it nearly impossible for her to find suitable employment. The trauma of her daughter’s abuse had also left Sue deeply distrustful of others when it came to childcare. She refused to leave her daughter alone, fearing that no one else could provide adequate care and protection. In addition, she felt increasingly anxious whenever her husband had contact with the child, as he had already threatened to take their daughter back to Hong Kong without her consent. This uncertainty about her child’s safety left Sue in a constant state of fear and distress.
Support and Interventions
To provide Sue with the necessary support, a worker from our Family Team was allocated to work with her and her child. We assisted her in navigating the legal system, working closely with a solicitor to help her secure protective measures for her daughter. This included supporting her in applying for a Child Protection Order to ensure the child’s
safety.
Since Sue’s husband had also made false allegations against her, rendering the case even more complex and inhibiting the prospect of a resolution. We continued to provide emotional and practical support, advocating on Sue’s behalf to ensure her voice was heard throughout the legal proceedings.
Beyond legal support, we focused on helping Sue regain her confidence and independence. We introduced her to various community activities where she could meet other parents, build a support network, and reduce her sense of isolation. These interactions played a crucial role in helping her feel less alone and more connected with others as she traversed this difficult period.
Additionally, we guided Sue through the process of applying for Change of Conditions with the Home Office, which allowed her to access public funds. This was a significant turning point, as it meant she could receive financial assistance and no longer had to rely on her abusive husband for survival.
Progress and Personal Growth
Although the legal proceedings between Sue and her husband are still ongoing, she has made remarkable progress in reclaiming control of her life. She now feels more relaxed, knowing that she is not alone and has a strong support system in place. She is gradually regaining confidence and has started making decisions about her future with a newfound sense of empowerment.
Previously, Sue had no say in household matters, and her husband restricted her from accessing any financial resources. Now, she has gained economic independence and can make decisions about her own and her daughter’s wellbeing. Her daughter, too, has shown positive changes – she appears happier at home and more secure in her environment.
Sue’s application for Change of Conditions was successful, granting her access to benefits and a subsequent alleviation of her financial struggles. She is now highly motivated to improve her circumstances and has expressed interest in enrolling in courses to develop new skills. She hopes to learn more English and eventually find a job
that will allow her to support herself and her daughter.
By participating in community activities, Sue has also developed friendships and social connections which have helped her, and her daughter become better integrated into their community.
Sue’s Reflection
Sue expressed gratitude for the support she has received, saying that when she joined our services, she felt like she had found a second home. She shared that she feels much happier now, knowing that she has people who care about her and her daughter. The friendships she has built within the group have given her a sense of belonging and hope for a better future.
While she still faces challenges, Sue is now on a path toward healing and independence. She is determined to create a safe and stable life for herself and her daughter, free from fear and abuse. Her journey is a testament to the resilience and strength of survivors, and with continued support, she is well on her way to rebuilding her life with confidence and hope.
P was an ordinary girl living in India with her two sisters, in a family that was loving but had to navigate the typical challenges of life. Like many young women, she dreamt of a happy marriage and a stable family life. In 2015, she married J, a British citizen of Indian origin. After spending a year with her in-laws in India, she moved to the UK in 2016 on a spousal visa, hoping for a fresh start. But instead of a peaceful life, what followed was a series of abuse, coercion, and struggles that would leave P fighting for her survival.
The Beginning of the Nightmare
P’s marriage initially seemed hopeful, but soon the cracks started to appear. J’s family had clear expectations – they demanded lavish gifts and expensive dowries from P’s family, including gold jewellery for extended relatives. P’s family, wanting to secure her happiness, gave in to these demands. But little did they know, this was just the beginning of P’s nightmare.
Once in the UK, P was subjected to controlling and abusive behaviour. Her husband would not allow her to leave the house or even call her parents without his supervision. She was isolated and cut off from any support system. Her identity, freedom, and safety were stripped away.
When P became pregnant, the situation worsened. J threatened to send her back to India if she gave birth to a daughter, revealing his deeply ingrained misogyny. When they discovered she was expecting a girl, his anger escalated, and so did the abuse. He began beating her and even strangled her once until she lost consciousness. P was terrified and alone, afraid to speak out as she wasn’t allowed to communicate with anyone without his presence. Miraculously, she gave birth to a baby boy. But the abuse didn’t end there.
The Incident That Changed Everything
In November 2020, things took a dramatic turn. A concerned neighbour heard P and her baby crying and called the police. When Greater Manchester Police arrived, they found P with a black eye, her child sobbing by her side. But P, terrified of her husband’s threats, chose to remain silent. J had warned her that if she spoke to the police, both she and her child would be in danger.
Despite P’s unwillingness to pursue the investigation, the police arrested J. He was put on trial for four months and was not allowed to stay with P during this period. However, even while living away in London, J continued to manipulate and control her, urging P to tell the police and social workers that nothing had happened; that he had not hurt her. Out of fear and in a desperate attempt to protect her family, P complied with his demands.
J was eventually found guilty of domestic violence and released on conditional bail. But what followed next was a chilling act of betrayal.
Abandoned in India
On November 24, 2020, as soon as J was released, he took P and their son to India. There, the abuse only worsened. Isolated from any support, J physically hurt both P and their child and then abandoned them in India. He took all their travel documents, leaving P and her son stranded in India.
Desperate and fearing for her life, P filed a case under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code in December 2020, seeking justice for the abuse she endured. In response, J sent her travel documents but cruelly withheld their son’s. It was another tactic to maintain control over P’s life. He and his family began threatening P and her relatives, demanding that she withdraw the case in India.
A Fight for Her Son and Survival
P managed to return to the UK but faced new challenges. Upon her return to the Manchester home, she found that J had taken all his belongings and disappeared, leaving her with mounting bills, mortgage payments, and no way to contact him. The last call she received from him was in April 2021, during which he threatened to kill her, their son, and her family if she didn’t drop the case and return to India.
In her quest to reunite with her son and secure his documents, P faced an uphill battle. She wrote countless emails to the Children Protection and Safeguarding team, pleading for help in applying for a new passport for her son. It took 10 long months of perseverance before she was finally able to get the necessary documents and bring her son back to the UK in January 2022.
The System That Failed Her
Throughout this entire ordeal, P faced one common challenge – lack of support from the system. When she initially returned to Manchester after being abandoned in India, the police told her they couldn’t help her. They argued that J, as an adult, hadn’t committed a crime and that they couldn’t do anything about her son’s passport, telling her to deal with the embassy instead. P was left feeling abandoned by the very authorities meant to protect her.
Her struggles didn’t end there. P faced overwhelming challenges with mortgage payments, council tax, and the financial burdens left behind by her husband. Over time, she learned to navigate these challenges, but not without them leaving her with significant emotional scars.
A Long and Unfair Road to Divorce
P has been trying to get a divorce since 2021, but the legal system requires her to present countless pieces of evidence proving her husband’s absence and non-cooperation. Despite the overwhelming evidence of domestic abuse, abandonment, and threats, the legal process remains long and arduous. For two years now, P has been fighting for her freedom, for her and her son’s safety, but the system still places the burden on her to prove J’s wrongdoing.
P’s frustration with the system is palpable. She feels as though the legal framework doesn’t recognise the full scope of what she has endured. “In the eyes of the law, it feels like he didn’t do anything wrong. Abandonment, it seems, is not a crime. Leaving someone is not considered abuse,” she reflects, disheartened by the legal loopholes and lack of support.
A Call for Change
P’s story is one of resilience in the face of unimaginable adversity. It is also a stark reminder that the system designed to protect victims of domestic abuse is deeply flawed. Her battle isn’t just with her abusive husband – it’s also with a system that has repeatedly failed her.
She hopes for a change, for the legal system to better understand the nuances of domestic violence, coercive control, and abandonment. No woman should have to fight this hard for her basic rights, for her safety, or for justice.
P’s journey is ongoing, but she continues to push forward, determined to secure a better future for herself and her son. Her courage serves as an inspiration to others in similar situations, and her voice is a powerful reminder that the fight against domestic abuse is far from over.
